Shit worth leaving your apartment for in Austin this week

Fallout Theater, Downtown

TODAY 7:00 PM • $31

“Kids in the Hall guy, 80 seats, downtown. Do not tell your funny friend.”

Mohawk, Downtown

TODAY 9:00 PM • See Website

“Rochester doom trio + L.A. Witch. Riffs so heavy the outdoor stage might sink.”

The Concourse Project, Other

TMRW 1:30 AM • See tickets

“Seismic's official Saturday afterparty, 1:30-4:30am. Festival ticket required to get in.”

Sahara Lounge, East Austin

TMRW 7:00 PM • $16

“Afrobeat bands until late in a cinderblock bar off Webberville. Dance or leave.”

The Concourse Project, Other

TMRW 11:30 PM • See tickets

“Seismic's closing party in the Volcano room till 3:30am. Call in Monday. Fest ticket needed.”

Saxon Pub, Other

MON 8:30 PM • $19

“Bob Schneider's Monday residency. Twenty-plus years and still a packed room.”

Sagebrush, South Congress

TUE 6:00 PM • Free

“Learn to two-step badly, then do it badly all night at a South Congress honky-tonk”

The Highball, Other

TUE 8:00 PM • Free

“Retro game shows hosted by drag queens. Free, prizes, and you only play if you want to.”

Domo Alley-Gato Tatsu-Ya, East Austin

TUE 9:00 PM • $25

“Retro J-Pop from an all-Japanese two-guitar quintet, 20% off food during the show.”

Paperboy East, East Austin

WED 5:30 PM • $59.75

“Six wines, one collapsed empire, centuries of Habsburg family drama. Drink through the fall”

The Highball, Other

WED 8:00 PM • Free

“Free pub trivia where your useless knowledge finally pays rent”

Fallout Theater, Downtown

WED 8:30 PM • $5-$8

“Devised clown work with live direction. Messy, risky, happens once. Five bucks online.”

The Velveeta Room, 6th Street

WED 9:00 PM • $14

“Thirteen bucks for stand-up in a 6th Street dive named after fake cheese”

Upstairs at Caroline, Downtown

THU 12:00 PM • Free

“Rooftop holiday bar with a split naughty-or-nice cocktail menu and a Santa confession board.”

Arriba Abajo Rooftop Cantina, Downtown

THU 7:00 PM • $54

“Mezcal tasting on a downtown rooftop. Smoky, expensive, absolutely worth it.”

Antone's, Downtown

THU 8:00 PM • See Website

“New Orleans funk-soul-poetry collective that turns Antone's into a block party”

XuXa, Other

THU 9:00 PM • $10-$20

“Two selectors, decades of underground records, one small dance floor on a Thursday. 21+.”

The Mosaic Workshop, East Austin

FRI 6:00 PM • $38

“Smash tile, drink something fake, make art with a stranger you may or may not like.”

Fallout Theater, Downtown

FRI 10:00 PM • $14

“10pm, 14 bucks, Austin comics trying bits that might not work. That's the point.”

Alamo Drafthouse Slaughter Lane, Other

FRI 11:00 PM • See tickets

“Opening-weekend Hunger Games prequel at 11pm. Teenagers, tyrants, and zero sleep.”

East Austin Comedy Club, East Austin

FRI 11:59 PM • $13.54

“Stand-up at 11:59pm. Local comics, BYOB, and you battling sleep for one more punchline.”

Ovenbird, South Congress

SAT 11:30 AM • Free-$59.75

“Free drag brunch on a South Congress patio: queens, a live DJ, and a mid-show toast”

Republic Square, Downtown

SAT 12:00 PM • $37.80

“All-you-can-eat Japanese street food in a downtown park. Pace yourself. You won't.”

Scissor Sisters Salon & Spa, Other

SAT 8:00 PM • $21

“A ten-event game show tournament staged inside a hair salon. Austin, never change.”

Mohawk, Downtown

SAT 8:00 PM • See Website

“Eric Johnson's indie-folk lifers. Pretty songs to cry-smile to under the heat lamps.”